7 Things To Do With Your Partner (Now You've Got Them Tied Up)
Picture the scene: the lights are dimmed, the candles are lit - and someone pulls out the silky satin restraints.
If you and your partner have decided to make your BDSM debut, then congratulations are in order! It’s great that you’ve found someone else who is on your wavelength and is up for some sexploration.
What could kill the mood slightly, however, is if you tie up your lover and then stand there staring awkwardly, while your lover lies there and just stares right back at you (also awkward).
Before you whip the handcuffs out, the best thing to do is plan your scene together. Planning will help clarify what sort of play turns you both on, what activities are off the cards, and what your safe word will be.
But exactly how do you plan sex, and keep it sexy? Here's 7 things to do with your partner (ranked from mildest to wildest) now that you've got them tied up.
Before you whip the restraints out, you should plan your scene together. Planning will help clarify what sort of play turns you both on, what activities are off the cards, and what your safe word will be. It’ll also help you avoid any awkward lulls. Here’s 7 things to do with your partner (ranked from mildest to wildest) now that you’ve got them tied up.
1. Perform a striptease
There’s no better time to bust a move. You have their full attention, and they aren’t going anywhere! The fact that they won’t be able to reach out and touch you will make it extra tantalising.
(Read this if you want some great striptease pointers)
2. Use a feather tickler
Running the soft feathers over your partner’s skin will have them quivering with anticipation. Their light touch triggers our ultra-sensitive nerve endings, making for an incredible foreplay session.
3. Try a blindfold
On your partner, that is, not yourself! Imagine, they’d be all tied up watching you stumble about and break things – what a fun-filled evening! Real talk though: blindfolds are a gentle way to move into bondage.
Your partner won’t be able to see, and this will heighten their other senses. Try some dirty talk and see for yourselves – they don’t call it ‘aural sex’ for nothing!
4. Light the massage candle
The melting point of a massage candle’s wax is lower than that of your every-day candle. This way, the massage wax will merely warm the skin.
Simply pour some warm wax onto your lover’s skin and allow them to completely submit to your indulgent massage.
5. Get to grips with orgasm control
As we move out of the mild and into the wild, you could try introducing orgasm play into your bondage session.
This could include orgasm denial or forced orgasms, you could incorporate toys or just use your hands to work the magic – it's entirely down to you and your partner.
This article offers an in-depth look into safe orgasm play.
6. Have a spanking or flogging session
Want a serious endorphin rush? Then maybe spanking or flogging is for you!
When done correctly it can introduce you to a whole other world of sensations (and really spice up your role play!)
Check out Spanking and Whipping for Beginners if you want to do it right.
7. Bring out the ball gag
Silence is golden – and sometimes, incredibly sexy.
A gag can take things to the next level for your submissive partner. Physically, their moans will be muffled. Mentally, they'll be savouring their surrender to their Dominant.
There are many types of gags, but ball gags are the most popular style. There are ball gags for beginners, seasoned BDSM participants and everyone in between, so it's important to shop around.
Over to you...
These are seven things to do with your partner now that you've got them tied up. That's all the tips you're getting from me today – you two will have to work the rest out in the bedroom instead!
Audrey Andrews is a student blogger for Lovehoney. In her spare time she loves to do craft, but would not advise knitting your own condoms.
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