How to Spank Properly

Spanking is when a hand or object is slapped against the skin to provide sensation, and bring circulation to the surface for better sensitivity. Spanking does not always have to be painful, and can be used to complement pleasurable sensations.

Erotic spanking can be enjoyed as part of role play, as a punishment in a BDSM scenario or even during intercourse to increase the endorphin rush.

You should always discuss spanking before trying it with your partner. An unexpected spank could be scary, a major turn-off or even bring back memories of a traumatic experience, which could lead to a very different result to the one you were hoping for. Never surprise spank!

Video: How to Spank Properly

Make sure that your impact play is safe as well as satisfactory with Lovehoney's guide to spanking.

Getting started

First, set up a ‘safe word’, and discuss what you're both comfortable with, and what you're hoping to achieve from spanking. Are you looking to enhance role play? Experiment with pain? Do you want the odd spank during sex, or a full-blown over-the-knee spanking session?

“My O/H and I have been together for many many years and up to now have enjoyed spanking each other either by hand or size 9 slipper.” - Phobus

Once that's been decided and agreed upon, the best way to try out spanking is to use your hands first. Cup your hand slightly, with your fingers together and spank lightly in an upward motion.

Taking aim...

It's best (and safest) to aim for fleshy parts of the body, such as the butt, backs of the thighs and the 'thutt' (the spot where the thigh meets the butt!). These areas are well cushioned to receive impact, and also send ripples of sensation through sensitive areas such as the genitals.

“Using a paddle, as well as spanking with my hand provides different sensations and feelings. Nice to mix it up with the two materials and easy to control the harshness of the spank.” - CS 1990

They're also areas of the body which are usually covered by clothing, so if you and your partner decide you like hard spanks which could leave a mark, you won't have to worry about answering tricky questions in the office the next day!

What NOTS, and how hard?

Never spank above the waist, over the spine or kidneys or over joints such as the backs of the knees. This is dangerous, so a good aim is very important.

“We've always been a fan of spanking, but thought a paddle would take it to the next level - and it truly does!” - CaptainHammer

Once you have become comfortable with spanking, try doing it harder and more frequently, timing each spank to arrive no later than three seconds apart. Vary the pressure, frequency and placement of the slaps to create variety, spread sensation and increase anticipation.

Building antici… pation

For many people who enjoy being spanked, it's the time between each spank, and not knowing when the next will come, which is the most exciting.

“Moved up from tennis bat-type spanker. Love the fact my boyfriend can start off with the softer, padded side and then as my arousal heightens he can punish me harder with harder, flatter side.” - Hornsters

If you want to take your spanking play even further, invest in a beginner-friendly spanking paddle. This will allow a greater range of movement and the different texture will give you some unique sensations too.

If your agreed safe word is used, stop play, immediately.

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