Anal Masturbation:
Pleasure Tips & Myths to Bust

In this guide: How common is anal masturbation? | Solo anal play tips | Partnered anal play tips | What does it feel like? | 5 myths about anal play

There’s nothing like a cheeky mazz to put a little pep in your step, but have you tried knocking on the backdoor? If you haven’t quite made it to fifth base yet, anal masturbation is a great way to explore exciting new pleasure zones. Whether you’re after tips for solo or partnered tushy time or recommendations on the best anal toys, we’ve got you covered with our how-to on anal play.

Pleasure your patootie: Shop anal sex toys

One of the best things about anal masturbation is that it can be enjoyed by anyone with a booty… And it might just have more fans than you think. One study found that roughly one in four Australian men and one in five Australian women have tried anal sex at least once in their lives.

Around one in five sexually active heterosexuals reported enjoying a bit of anal action in the past three months, too. Given how many sensitive nerve-endings your anus has, and how close it is to your genitals, it’s hardly surprising that so many people find this to be a very sexy erogenous zone.

Before you dive right into exploring your back passage, it helps to understand the basics. Here’s how you can maximise your pleasure next time you knock on your back door.

Wash yourself first

When it comes to booty play, practising good hygiene is key. We’re talking clean hands, sanitary toys, and a nice, fresh peach. The best way to keep your booty clean is to give between your cheeks a good washdown with unscented soap. It helps if you’ve been for a number two about an hour before you play, too.

If you want to really flush things out, you might want to try douching or an enema. Douching isn’t 100% necessary to enjoy a bit of anal action, but some people feel more comfortable knowing they’ve cleaned out their back passage. And greater comfort = more pleasure. Check out our blog on how to use an anal douche to help prime your peach for play.

Get aroused

Your back passage is made up of two powerful muscles that keep your contents from spilling, if you catch our drift. To get the most out of anal masturbation, it’s important to make sure you’re nice and relaxed, otherwise those muscles will tense up and make penetration tricky.

And the best way to relax? Arousal. That’s right, you need to get turned on to help the muscles around your dot relax, making anal masturbation easier and more pleasurable. Set the mood with some erotic audio or a sexy playlist. Alternatively, you can get your favourite sex toy involved until you’re ready to rumble with your rump.

Tease the erogenous zones

If it’s your first time behind, there’s no need to go straight into penetration. Instead, explore the other erogenous zones around your keister, like your cheeks, perineum (that’s the spot between your genitals and booty hole), and your rim.

You can even use a cheeky bullet vibe to really get your buzz on. This can be a great way to help you relax and suss out whether anal play is your jam. Just remember: never insert your bullet vibrator into your patootie, as it won’t have a handle for removal.

Always use lube

Unlike the vajngo, your butt isn’t self-lubricating, so it’s absolutely essential to invest in a good quality anal lube, and use lots of it. Water-based lubes offer a light, natural consistency, making them a great all-rounder. That said, it can be worth opting for a thicker, slicker silicone-based lubricant for your anal exploration. But don’t be tempted to slather it all over your real-feel silicone sex toys, or it will eat away at the smooth casing, leaving them destined for the bin. And avoid using household items instead of lube — stick to properly formulated, body-safe lube that’s designed to care for your delicate areas.

Slip in a finger

Sure, playing with toys can be fun, but you can also use your fingers to pleasure your tushy. Start by tracing your digits up and down or in circles over your bottom as you move closer to your dot. Once you reach your back door, gently press the flat of your thumb against your anus to get you used to the new, exciting sensations. If you’re feeling confident, you can slowly slip a finger inside to explore your rear internally.

For people with male anatomy, sex therapist Christine Rafe has advice: “The prostate is located approximately 4cms inside the rectum and can be stimulated internally by angling toward the belly button.” Massaging this spot can feel intensely pleasurable and totally unlike your regular mazz sesh.

Explore anal sex toys

You don’t need butt toys to enjoy anal masturbation, but they can certainly help to take your booty play to another level. If you’re just starting out, the Lovehoney Classic Silicone Beginner's Butt Plug will provide plenty of pleasure without breaking the bank. The slimline body is ideal for booty beginners, and the flared base keeps it safely in place.

If you've got male anatomy, and you’re ready for something a little more advanced, try the Arcwave Perk Prostate Massager for more targeted stimulation. Specially designed with an adjustable arm and large, silicone head, it’s sure to hit that P-spot with deep, rumbly vibrations.

Stick to safe toys

Don’t become the butt of an ER horror story. Stick to booty-safe toys with a flared base or large handle to avoid anything getting lost up there. On that note, make sure you’re buying from a trusted sex toy retailer that rigorously tests toys.

Certain materials, like silicone, stainless steel, and borosilicate glass, are typically more hygienic for butt play because they’re non-porous and can be sanitised more easily. Our anal sex toy guides have you covered with everything you need to know about safe gear for pleasurable booty play.

Clean and store anal toys properly

Once you’re done using your toys for anal play, it’s important to give them a good clean using warm water and mild soap or a specialty sex toy cleaner. No matter how clean you keep your tush, the reality is it’s home to a higher concentration of bacteria, so it’s especially important to keep your toys clean between uses.

Once you’ve given them a good clean, leave them to dry completely before storing them in a safe, dry place. Better yet, keep your goodies separated by placing them in the storage box or bag that they come with.

Butt play can be fun for one, but it can often be even more exciting with your kinky companion. Explore different toys, experiment with new positions, and try techniques that aren’t available to you when you’re enjoying your solo play.

Here are a few tips to help you and your boo enjoy anal masturbation together.

Talk about what excites you

Before you come home with a brand new butt plug, it can be worth chatting with your partner to establish your turn-ons and boundaries. For many, simply getting the conversation going about anal mazzin’ can be the most uncomfortable part of the whole experience, so here are a couple of conversation starters you can use to get your words flowing:

• “This isn’t a request, just out of interest, how do you feel about butt stuff?”

• “Have you ever been curious about anal play?”

Combine anal play with oral sex

The beauty of butt play is that it can be enjoyed on its own or with a side of oral. Whether you’re playing the flute or kissing the kitty, giving head stimulates stacks of highly sensitive nerve endings. Your booty is home to a separate, but somewhat connected, nerve network. When combined, the layered sensations of oral and anal play can often lead to a more intense experience, heightening your overall pleasure.

Try starting with your usual head job and gently incorporate a little anal play once you’ve got the blood flowing and are feeling relaxed.

Try rimming

While there are plenty of anal play techniques that can be enjoyed solo, anal rimming requires a plus one. Ask your partner to play with themselves while you shower their inner thighs with kisses. With consent, bring your mouth to their butt hole and start to lick or kiss. Switch between slow licks using the flat of your tongue to little flicks using the tip. Try rotating your tongue or darting it in and out of the hole – remember to ask your lover what sensations they like best.

Consider strap-on play

You’ve explored with your fingers, you’ve mastered rimming, and you’re keen to take your anal play to the next level. Why not try a strap-on? Strap-on play can be enjoyed by anyone, and it says absolutely nothing about your sexuality.

“Despite growing acceptance of LGBTQIA+ folk, there remains negative systemic views of sex that isn’t overtly heteronormative” says Christine. But that preconception is just holding people back from playful, satisfying sex.

When straight couples try pegging, it can lead to more pleasure and intimacy as you explore something new together. But, if you’re not quite ready to get strapped, that’s absolutely fine! We’d recommend starting with anal beads or a small suction cup dildo without the harness first.

Don’t ignore pain

Anal play should be pleasurable, so if you feel any pain or discomfort whatsoever, it’s essential to use your safe word and stop play immediately. It could just be a case of dialling things back a notch or giving yourself a bit of a break before resuming your bum fun. If you do decide to carry on, be sure to reapply a healthy dash of the anal lube to make sure everything’s well lubricated and take it slow. well lubricated and take it slow.

Take a moment for aftercare

Just like regular old coitus, anal play should always be followed by aftercare. This is the perfect opportunity to relax and recover while you check in with your partner in crime. Anal play can be a helluva time, but it can also be an incredibly intense experience, so aftercare can help you settle back down and feel good about your experience.

Aftercare can be as simple as grabbing a snack and some water once you’ve done the deed, or it could involve a quick debrief with your boo to see what worked and what you’d do differently next time.

Anal play can feel very pleasurable, because your butt is full of nerve-endings. On the Lovehoney Forum, JMS55 describes the sensation as "very intense [...] the orgasms are out of this world.” For some, it’s the taboo of backdoor play that feels thrilling, or the sensation of fullness that it provides.

“Nothing beats the feeling of being completely stretched and filled by my OH hands or a really girthy dildo or butt plug,” says Beats69. While these sensations can be incredibly pleasurable for some, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

You might find anal play uncomfortable, painful, or just deeply unsexy. That’s OK! Only explore what feels right to you. And if you enjoy anal masturbation but you’re not sure about penetrative sex, there are other ways to deepen your pleasure.

One Forum user explains the magic of a butt plug for people with a prostate: “As I approach orgasm, internally things start to move a little bit as I get harder and suddenly, it's in the perfect position exactly when I need it. I don’t know if it's hitting my P-spot or just the nerves but that's when it becomes spectacular,” says I_ll_try_anything.

Anal beads offer something quite different; a tantalising “pop” as you insert or remove each bead. Sliding anal beads out of your butt during climax can take your peak to another level.

Remember: anal masturbation shouldn’t hurt, so if you’re in pain, slow down and lube up, or stop altogether.

There are plenty of myths and misconceptions surrounding the world of anal, so if you’ve been put off in the past, there’s a good chance you’re not alone. But rather than miss out on the potential pleasure to be found at your back door, we’re here to put these falsities to bed.

Myth: “Anal play is dirty”

“Rewind 30 years, and heterosexuals having anal sex was considered ‘dirty’, and now (thanks to pornography and social acceptance), this sexual act is fetishised and clearly enjoyed by many!” said Christine Rafe. We hope the same acceptance continues to extend to anyone who enjoys anal play, regardless of gender or orientation.

“Every type of sex has fluids, smells and tastes involved, and any type of sex can be messy, but this doesn’t mean it is ‘dirty’. Anal and prostate play is no different, and the same safe-sex practices apply as any other type of sex,” Christine continues. For example, make sure to give your bum a good wash in between the cheeks to freshen up down there and don’t insert anything into the vagina directly from your anus unless it’s been cleaned thoroughly first.

Myth: “Anal play stretches out your ass”

No, nup, not at all. Many people love the sensation of feeling stretched that often comes with anal play, but that doesn’t mean you’re permanently stretching your booty hole. As you get more experienced with anal, you learn to relax, but rest assured, everything will bounce back to its regular size once play ends.

Myth: “All men secretly want a finger in their ass”

A digit up the butt can supersize you or your partner’s pleasure, but a surprise finger can be a huge turn-off. Before exploring your boo’s bum, it’s imperative to understand what they like and respect their boundaries. This means not slipping it in without express consent.

Myth: “Enjoying anal play makes you gay”

Everyone is blessed with a badonkadonk, so everyone can enjoy anal play. For people with a prostate in particular, the best way to stimulate this special spot is, you guessed it, up the butt. As Christine Rafe put it, “... prostate pleasure and orgasms are described by many as even more pleasurable and intense than penile orgasms, and that it is often experienced as more of a full-body orgasm rather than genitally-focused.”

So, why deprive yourself of a good time? With 1-in-4 men enjoying anal play according to the recent Australian Study of Health and Relationships, bum fun definitely isn’t reserved for gay men. Here’s how to find your prostate.

Myth: “You should use numbing cream for anal play”

If you’re a booty beginner, there’s a chance anal can feel slightly uncomfortable as you get used to the sensations, but it should never be painful. While it might be tempting to use a numbing cream before getting down to business, we advise against it. Pain is an important signal that’s designed to keep your bod (and your bot!) safe from harm.