What Is Pegging?

Written by Kaya Martin, 21st November, 2022

After years of hiding in the shadows, pegging is finally getting the wide-spread attention it deserves. Whether you’re just playfully curious or a peg-pro, pegging can be a juicy way to flip the script in the bedroom.

Perhaps you’ve heard about it from TV or movies, or it’s been brought up in late-night conversations with friends. Once taboo, the act of pegging is having its moment in the spotlight, and we couldn’t be more excited about it.

Though it’s only been spoken about openly in recent years, pegging has been around since the beginning of time. When exactly the first couple figured it out, we’re not exactly sure - that moment has been lost to history. But these days increasing sex positivity has created a cultural shift where more couples are willing to admit that they’re into it, and others are becoming inspired to test the waters for themselves.

If Deadpool is willing to give it a shot, what’s stopping you? Okay, maybe it’s not for everyone (we’re looking at you, Andrew from MAFS), but with an open mind and a little patience, pegging can bring your pleasure levels to new heights.

What is pegging sex?

Basically, pegging is when the one partner wears a strap-on and uses it to penetrate the other partner.

The term was originally coined in the early 2000s by Dan Savage in his sex-positive advice column, to refer to when a cisgender woman uses a strap-on to anally penetrate a cisgender man. But hey, we’re not going to gatekeep! Any and all genders can grab a strap-on and enjoy pegging the way that they see fit.

What’s so great about pegging?

It’s all about pleasure, baby! For real, pegging is a great way to switch it up in your relationship and experience something new.

Pegging can be a fun way to play with power dynamics in the bedroom. The partner that is typically the giver during sex becomes the receiver, and vice versa.

For the pegger, it can be sexy to be the one in control for a change and to pleasure your partner and fulfil their desires. For the peggee, it can lead to increased feelings of vulnerability and intimacy (which is hot). But, of course, just because you’re the receiving partner doesn’t mean you can’t be the boss. Ever heard of a power bottom?

For those who are into BDSM, bringing pegging into the equation can kick it up a notch, especially for vulva owners who like to be dominant and penis owners who are more submissive.

Aside from the emotional aspects, pegging can feel physically amazing as well. For those with male bodies, anal play opens the doors to a whole new world of pleasure. This is all thanks to a little gland located a couple inches inside the rectum - the prostate. It’s a part of the male reproductive system, and its day job is to help ensure semen is the right consistency, but it’s also a secret centre for ultimate pleasure. Stimulating the prostate can lead to shuddering, show-stopping orgasms that some say are stronger than penis-related ones. Who wouldn’t want to test that theory?

Even those without a prostate may enjoy the feeling of getting pegged, as it stimulates the many sensitive nerve endings inside the anus. Being pegged allows for deeper and more acute anal penetration that will help you reach all those sweet spots that may be tricky during solo play. Plus you get to share the experience with someone you care about.

And it’s not just fun for the peggee. Pegging can feel great for the giving partner too. Those with female bodies might enjoy the feeling of thrusting into their partner because the strap on will rub against their clit. If you want to take it to the next level, try a double-headed strap, like the Desire Luxury Rechargeable Strapless Strap-On Dildo Vibrator. It’s really got it all: pliable clit stimulators, a waterproof design, and eight different styles of vibration.

For those with male bodies who want to be the pegger, there are hollow strap-ons that are designed to put your penis inside, like the Lovehoney Perfect Partner Unisex Hollow Vibrating Strap-On. This can be a great way to mix it up in your sex life, by adding vibration and extra length boost to the toy that you were born with.

How to bring it up with your partner

To play around with pegging sex, you’re going to need two willing participants. Perhaps it’s something you’ve been curious about for a while, or maybe you just want to explore the topic with your partner.

Either way, it’s best to broach the subject before trying to spring it on them in the bedroom. Float the idea in a casual setting and express your interest in giving it a try. If you’re at a loss for words, say something along the lines of “Have you heard about pegging? I think it’s so hot and sexy, and I’d love to try it out with you if you’re keen.”

If they’re frantically Googling ‘What is pegging?’, you can help them learn by sending them one of the many educational videos on the subject (porn works too, if you want to jump right in), or even sharing this very article!

For those who have never tried any back door play, moving straight to pegging can be a big step. To make it feel a little more accessible, try out other types of anal stimulation such as using your fingers, your mouth, or a butt plug before whipping out the strap-on.

Everyone has different reactions when it comes to getting experimental, so give your partner a bit of time to think about it. Sometimes it can feel scary to bring up new ideas to your partner, but in a healthy relationship you should always feel safe to share your desires and needs.

And no matter how they respond, never, EVER feel ashamed of asking for what you want - even if the answer is sometimes no. But who knows? There’s a good chance that your partner has been wanting to try it out as well and they’ve just been waiting for you to come to them.

Pegging supplies

Once you’ve decided to give it a shot, it’s time to assemble your supplies. First, pick out your weapon of choice - a strap-on, that is. There are two main styles to choose from: the harness strap-on and the underwear strap-on.

The harness is the traditional choice. The design allows for a ton of skin-to-skin contact, which is always a plus when you’re getting down to it. It is also fitted with various adjustable buckles and straps, so it's guaranteed to fit you like a glove. This is kind of a big deal, because having the perfect fit is necessary for having the right control and angle to properly pound your partner. The only downside is that, because of all the customisable elements, putting on the harness can take a bit of extra time and energy.

On the other hand, the underwear style strap is as easy as getting dressed in the morning. The fool-proof design is perfect for speedy, spontaneous sex. It’s also less bulky than a harness, making it a top choice for packing (wearing a toy under your clothes). If you’re opting for this style, just be careful that you get something that fits right.

Both types allow you to switch up the dildo to your own desires. Anal play beginners may want to stick with something a little small at first, like the BASICS Slimline Anal Starter Dildo. Don’t worry, you can always size up when you get in the groove. If you’re still feeling a little hesitant about which product to add-to-cart, check out our strap-on guides page for all pleasures and purposes.

After that, all you really need for pegging sex is lots (and LOTS) of lube. Because the anus can’t get wet on its own in the same way a vagina does, it needs a bit of assistance. For this reason anal lube is thicker and slicker than regular lube.

If you’re using a silicone dildo, stick to a water-based lube so you don’t cause damage to your toy. However, if your toy is glass or metal, pjur Back Door Relaxing Anal Glide Lubricant is a great place to start as it’s made with slippery jojoba oil that has soothing effects to keep you nice and relaxed down there.

How to peg somebody

The stage is all set, so let the pegging begin!

Good sex is as much about the vibe as it is about the act itself, so make sure you have everything in order so that you’re both as comfortable as possible. Whether that means setting up the mood lighting, putting a towel down on the bed, or having a glass or two of wine, do whatever you usually do to get yourself in the mood.

When it��s time to get down to business, start with a little foreplay. It can be helpful to warm up the anal area first by touching and massaging it with a lubed-up finger. When both parties are ready, ease the tip of the strap-on inside, slowly and surely.

Remember: open communication is paramount. As the pegger, you have to make sure that you’re not going too hard or hurting your partner, so read their body language and listen to the way they respond to your actions. If you’re unsure, a simple “Do you like that?” can be a quick way to check in that doubles as spicy dirty talk.

It can take a moment for the sphincter to unclench and for your partner to get used to the new sensation. Once they seem to be getting into it, you can start to speed up your pace and give them a good pump.

You did it - you’re pegging! As long as you’re both enjoying yourselves, now you can really go crazy and have some fun.

Pegging 101

See? That wasn’t so scary, was it? Hopefully your backdoor confidence has grown, and maybe you’ve discovered a whole new realm of pleasure to plunge into. First, we’ve given you the rundown what pegging is and why it feels so good (and perhaps we’ve even convinced you to give it a shot). Next, we covered how to bring it up with your partner, what shopping supplies to add to your list, and how to, you know, actually do the thing. If you need a little more inspiration for which stances to take when you’re getting down to business, don’t worry - we’ve got a detailed guide to the best sex positions for pegging.

Now that you know the ins and outs (and ins, and outs…) of pegging sex, all that’s left to do is give it a try for yourself. With a few squirts of lube, open communication and a willing partner, you never know what delights may lay ahead. Go forth and prosper, pegging people!