These Are The Funniest Festive Sex Toy Searches of 2018

by Sammi

on Dec 4, 2018

Christmas Cock Bells

From 'spider condoms' to 'parrot sale in India', we've had some pretty weird and wonderful searches on the Lovehoney website in the past year.

Our top 101 searches left tears in the eyes of everyone at Lovehoney HQ, while our spooky Halloween edition caused a few shivers (not to mention raised eyebrows).

So what better way to celebrate the holiday season than with a round-up of our favourite unique Christmas search terms?

From typos, to very niche product requests, to copy-and-paste gone awry, we've rounded up 52 of our favourites to tickle your festive funny bone.

All together now: "jingle boils, jingle boils, Christmas launderette..."

All I want for Christmas is...

1. tinsel butt plug

Tinsel Butt Plug Tinsel Butt Plug

2. jingle boils

3. christmas tree dildo

4. bishop vibrator

5. black tingle balls

6. anal stocking

7. jesus christ dildo

8. christmas cock bells

9. nipple tinsel

Nipple Tinsel Nipple Tinsel

Don't forget the...

10. christmas frackers

11. christmas clander

12. christmas chackers

13. christmas crackets

We hope this was Autocorrect's doing

14. christmas nipple taxi

15. christmas underwater

16. grenade christmas

17. satisfying penguin

18. christmas stalkings

19. christmas condones

20. holly cow

Holly Cow Holly Cow

21. christmas sexy snags

22. christmas stickings and suspendars

23. santana knickers

24. christmas lingered

25. christmas fancy dredd

26. santa pitiful

27. christmas launderette

28. christmas might wear men

29. christmas but then plug

What do you give the person who has everything?

30. nightmare before christmas inspired jack and sally ring for men

31. latex rubber siberian husky headgear mask halloween fancy dress christmas party

32. festive extra quiet silicone realistic dildo black

33. christmas vibrating tongue elf

34. cat ladder christmas advent calendar

35. sexy santander out fits 4 women

Now that's an odd Christmas dinner

36. cock sauce

37. turnip vibrator

Turnip Vibrator Turnip Vibrator

38. breaded dildo

39. turkey baster

40. extreme goose

41. christmas cookie lube

42. fluffy chicken

43. turkey slap

44. natural roasted peanut butter crunchy tub, 1 kg

45. pickled onion condoms

46. jessica trifle

47. jolly green jive turkey

48. mama cabbage

Mama Cabbage Mama Cabbage

I think you may be in the wrong tab

49. christmas bin collection

50. what to write in a christmas card

51. whitney hustons life story when is it being shown on tv over christmas

And finally... what?

52. christmas baknin

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Written by Sammi. Lovehoney's Student Sexpert
Covering everything you need to know about sex at college

Originally published on Dec 4, 2018. Updated on Aug 6, 2020