8 of the Best Anal Foreplay Tips

by Emma Maidens

on Jun 14, 2022

Foreplay advice for the butt and nothing but...

Doughnut innuendo 2

1. Establish Boundaries

When considering foreplay for anal, don’t overlook a discussion about what you’re comfortable with, with all parties involved.

An important step when it comes to any form of sexual activity is discussing your boundaries with your partner/s. It’s an especially important conversation to have before you begin your butt-bound journey, due to the potential risks involved.

Anal play shouldn’t be painful, so starting slow and having a safe word is a great way to minimise the potential for discomfort and maximise the potential for pleasure.

This isn’t a one-and-done conversation either. With time and experience, your boundaries may change, or you might be in the middle of trying something and decide it’s not for you.

The conversation with your sexual partner should be an ongoing one to build intimacy and ensure both your needs are being met. So, speak up whenever you feel the need and encourage your partner/s to do the same.

When you’re all on the same page and clear on what you’re comfortable with, then let the fun begin.

2. Prepare

We’re not going to act like anal sex is no different to vaginal sex just in a different location.

Anal sex, by nature, opens the door to more bacteria during both foreplay and actual penetration. The bacteria that can be found in the anus area can pose risks if you don’t prepare yourself and your space correctly.



Exactly how you wish to prepare for anal sex is entirely up to you.

Whether you’re comfortable just jumping in the shower for a quick refresh before you begin or prefer to take a more thorough approach. This may also depend on what you’re intending to do during each anal sesh.

You may like to time your anal play for after you’ve had your bowel movement, for peace of mind, or invest in an anal douche to feel fully clean and confident. If you’re curious about anal douches, read our ‘How-To’ guide here.

It will depend entirely on each individual, so stick to what you feel comfortable with. The more you play, the more you’ll be confident in your preparation routine.

Your Space

Bacteria and mess are just part of the parcel when it comes to anal play, but you don’t want to wind up replacing all your bed linen each time you want to take the back road.

Preparing your space can be as simple as laying down a towel and putting your lubricant within easy reach. You can also invest in splash proof blankets to protect your bedding or for easy set-up if you’re getting frisky in a different location.

Your Lube Situation


Don’t even think about starting anal play without a high-quality anal lube.

Anal lube is generally made from water or silicone and is name as so for its enhanced thickness, helping it to supply a longer-lasting, cushioned glide - perfect for backdoor activities.

3. Don’t Get Tunnel Vision

Just because you’re focussing on anal stimulation doesn’t mean you can forget about all the other nerve-heavy zones we usually play with during foreplay.

The usual suspect erogenous zones like your nipples, neck and inner thighs should not be left out of the equation during foreplay for anal.

Kissing, caressing, licking or bringing vibrations into the mix are an important puzzle piece for putting yourself in the mood and getting you relaxed.

Relaxation is a super important part of satisfying anal, so don’t get hyper-focussed on the butt area and miss out on the bigger picture.

4. Massage


An absolute win-win situation if ever we’ve heard one, incorporating massage is one of the most crowd-pleasing anal foreplay tips.

Firstly, it’s an absolute turn-on for the giver and receiver.

If you’re receiving, this is your time to relax and enjoy the sensations of your partner’s hands on your body. You can have them focus on your butt from the get-go or let them work their way down your body.

If you’re the giver, pay extra attention to the butt area. Not only is it a great view for you, it also helps the receiver relax and become familiar with sensations around their anus.

Massage closer and closer to the anus, slowly. It will drive the receiver crazy with anticipation and provide the ultimate warm-up.

Secondly, a massage can also help the receiver relax. There are many muscles around your anus, and if you aren’t feeling relaxed, it’s likely they will be tensed. If those muscles and your anal sphincter are tight, inserting anything can be painful and difficult rather than pleasurable and easy.

While you’ll want to invest in a specific anal lubricant for any further activities, we recommend using a luxe massage oil for your erotic massage.

Earthly Body Vanilla Edible Massage Oil smells good and tastes better - perfect if you feel like implementing licks and bites into your massage _arse_nal.

Looking to send the receiver into relaxation bliss? Put on some waterfall sounds as you let DONA Relax Lavender and Tahitian Vanilla Massage Oil drip over their body.

5. Start Small

Don’t buy into that “bigger is better” stuff, especially when it comes to anal.

Whether you’re using anal sex toys or your body, always start small and work your way up.

A finger is a great way to begin this process, whether that’s for anal specific play or to begin exploring while still having vaginal sex.

Make sure your hands are clean, and fingernails cut short (don’t try this if you’re a die-hard acrylic nails fan), and be sure not to place the same finger/s in any vagina’s after anal play.

6. Invest in Anal Sex Toys

Look deep into my eyes, you are getting very sleepy. When I click my fingers, you will invest in anal sex toys.

No joke. We will hypnotise you if we have to. You don’t want to use anything in anal play that isn’t intended for that specific purpose.

Unlike a vagina, you can lose items in your anus. That’s why toys designed for your nether regions have features such as flared bases and rings.

Anal beads will always have a handle. Other toys like butt plugs and dildos will have a flared base so there’s no chance of them slipping inside you and becoming stuck.

We don’t want your sex to send you to the ER, so make sure you’ve got the right base to start, wink.

Anal Beads


The magic of anal beads is all in the movement. Inserting will give you moments of full feelings, stimulating the many nerves located around the anus. Insert on your own, before the intimacy begins, or during play - they're yours for the taking.

Removal of the anal beads can be done at any time through play, but for the best feelings, remove your anal beads during climax.

Butt Plugs


The intention of inserting a butt plug is to create a feeling of fullness for the receiver. They’re also popular for preparing the anus for anal play and can be bought in packs of different-sized butt plugs.

These are a great option to include in anal foreplay if you’re not quite ready for bigger sex toys. Best of all, with plenty of options to choose from, you can work your way up to your desired size at a rate that feels comfortable to you.



Take extra care when cleaning your anal sex toys, and ideally keep them for this region of your body only.

No matter how thoroughly you clean your anal beads, butt plugs or other anal sex toys, there’s still the possibility that they’ll harbour some unwanted germs.

Don’t interchange them between vaginal and anal play, and make sure to use soap or an antibacterial sex toy cleaner. Sometimes water just ain't enough.

7. Tongue in Cheek


Tossing salad, analingus, rimming, and eating ass. Some terms for this are more abstract (you’ll never want to be on salad-making duty at a family event again), while some are straight to the point.

Whatever you like to call it, getting your tongue involved in the anal action is a great way to begin your venture into anal play or to warm up before penetration.

If you haven’t tried rimming before, you can find a ‘how-to’ in our beginner's guide to rimming to help take you from rim job novice to expert in no time.

How to do foreplay for men and women can be very different, but both vulva and penis owners are well aware of the pleasures of a well-placed tongue. The best thing about the anal version of oral? Everyone has an anus, so everyone can enjoy it.

While you may want to use a slightly different technique to that of regular oral, the idea is the same. You’ll want to use your tongue, lips and mouth to stimulate the nerves, of which there are many in the anus.

For extra fun, try using a flavoured lube for analingus. For those with a sweet tooth, there’s vanilla cream, for a fresh tingle there’s peppermint, or try passionfruit to up your daily fruit intake.

Of course, with bacteria found in the anus, you will want to take a few precautions. You don’t want to get the bacteria anywhere near you or your partner's vagina, so don’t switch from rimming to oral. Start with vaginal oral and then move on or focus on rimming only.

Another consideration is hair. This is a completely personal choice, so don’t feel pressured to keep or remove hair.

Though it may be harder to see, you do grow pubic hair around your anus too. So if you do feel like keeping things smooth during anal foreplay, you can shave or remove the hair before you begin.

Finally, for health reasons and comfort, it’s recommended that you and your partner/s are freshly showered before you begin your meal.

Jump in together beforehand to freshen up, and if you’re enjoying the steamy shower sesh, you can always stay there...

8. Get Wet

shower sex

Other than just offering a change of scenery and plenty of dripping sensations, getting wet in a bath or shower as a means of anal foreplay is packed with benefits.

The hot water can help to relax you and your muscles further, so that penetration of the anus is more comfortable.

The Final Frontier

Now little protégé, you have the top 8 anal foreplay tips, and you’re fully equipped and ready to explore the final frontier.

Anal foreplay is both a great way to prepare for anal itself, or simply as another means to enjoy sex. Whether you delve in solo or with your partner/s, anal play can truly be a portal to new realms of pleasure.

Most importantly, anal play should be pain-free for everyone involved. So be safe, sensible and have fun!

Explore Lovehoney's Top Anal Toys

Emma Maidens

Written by Emma Maidens.

Originally published on Jun 14, 2022. Updated on Jun 15, 2022