Beginner's Guide to Rimming and Analingus

Rimming can be intensely pleasurable and many people find anal stimulation a real game-changer, but why? And how do you do it? Let's find out.

What is Rimming?

Rimming – which is also known as analingus, anal play, or anal stimulation – is the act of using your mouth, tongue, and lips to stimulate your partner's anus.

Video: How to Give a Rim Job

Want to know how to perform analingus on your partner? Lovehoney's handy video has all the top tips you need to give a pleasurable rim job.

Why does anal stimulation feel good?

Analingus feels good because the anus has so many sensitive nerve-endings, which means rimming can be incredibly pleasurable for both men and women. Lots of couples enjoy analingus during foreplay, or as a sexy accompaniment to oral sex.

Do women like analingus?

Some do – anyone with an anus has the potential to enjoy rimming.

The act of analingus is exactly the same for both genders and all sexual orientations – the only difference is the other parts of the body that you can incorporate while rimming (more on that later). Other than that, everything from the safety to the lube is broadly the same when considering analingus for men and women.

Is rimming safe?

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With the proper preparation, yes, but due to where the anus is and what comes out of it, this area can hold more bacteria than other parts of the body, and rimming can increase the chance of you coming into contact with this bacteria.

But don't worry – by following some basic hygiene precautions before and during rimming, you can enjoy safe and satisfying anal play.

Here are three safety steps to take before you perform analingus:

Make sure the anus is clean

Give the anus a wash with unscented soap and warm water, or for a more intensive clean, use an anal douche to get squeaky-clean for anal play.

If you usually like to tame or get rid of body hair before oral sex, you might want to try shaving your anus, too – you might not think you have a lot of hair there, but you'd be surprised!

Use a dental dam

A dental dam is made from protective material and acts as a thin barrier between your tongue and your partner's anus. This not only protects you from STIs but can prevent harmful bacteria entering your system if you want to stick the tongue inside the anus as opposed to around it (although we'd recommend sticking to the latter).

Some dental dams are also flavored, which can make the experience tasty for the licker.

Avoid vaginal oral sex

Anal bacteria isn't vagina friendly. Follow the same cautionary measures you would take when having vaginal sex after the penis has been in/around the anus by avoiding vaginal oral sex after rimming.

Should I use lube for rimming?

You don't have to use lube, but adding lube into any sexual activity – not just rimming – is always recommended to enhance the experience.

Flavored lube lends itself particularly well to rimming – especially if it's the first time. If you think you'll be progressing onto penetration with your tongue, fingers, toys, or penis then start with a long-lasting lubricant which you won't need to reapply as often.

If you're going to be trying anal penetration, just make sure to choose a lubricant which is specifically for anal play (they're thicker with more 'cushioning') and check that it's compatible with any toys/condoms you may be using.

How to initiate rimming

When it comes to rimming, communication is key. Obviously, not everyone is in a relationship where they can sit down over dinner and discuss analingus in detail. However, communication can be just as powerful when it's non-verbal. Use body language to tell your partner what you do and don't enjoy.

If you want to receive rimming, then respond positively to all activity in this area, or gently lean into your partner as they give you oral sex. Now, we're not advising that you shove your butt in your partner's face, but a subtle movement here or there will give them the message that you're happy for them to make their way further south.

If you'd like to give your partner some oral action in that department, start by paying them a little more attention around the anus and gauge their response. Moans and leaning into your touch are good, moving away or directing your attention elsewhere might signal that they're not up for anal play.

What rimming techniques are there?

If you're going to try rimming, it helps to know what to do with your tongue as well as how to pleasure your partner in other ways.

Of course, there's no right or wrong way – it really depends on what is enjoyable for your partner, but here are some tongue techniques for rimming as well as some other parts of the body you incorporate during analingus to give you some ideas.


How to Rim

1. Up and down

Gently move your tongue up and down along the anus with a flat tongue or flick the tip with the same movement in quick motions and vice versa.


Guide to Rimming

2. Side to side

Move your tongue in lateral motions across the anus, either quickly or slowly.


Guide to Rimming

3. Full circle rotations

Move your tongue around the anus in clockwise motions and then go the other way in anti-clockwise motions. You can also try tiny circles at the tip or big circles around the wider anus area.


Guide to Rimming

4. Semicircle

Try licking one side of the anus in a half-circle shape and then do the same on the other side.


Guide to Rimming

5. Flat and pointed

Alternate between a flat, wide tongue for gentle strokes, and a stiff, pointed tip for pinpoint precision.


Mix it up

If you're exploring rimming, try alternating these tongue movements, applying different pressures and speeds to see which your partner prefers. Some people love repetitive movements, while others prefer a variation, so keep this in mind when you're experimenting.

Ask your receiver to signal when they enjoy something, this could be saying 'yes' or 'no' or giving a pleasure scale from 1-10. You can also look out for clues yourself such as noises, gasps, and movements.

As well as tongue movements, there are also a bunch of other techniques that incorporate the genitals and other parts of the body that can intensify the exhilaration.

Playing the rusty trombone

Rimming is sometimes referred to as 'playing the rusty trombone', which is when the person who is giving the anus oral attention also reaches around to the penis and makes rapid stroking movements up and down the shaft. The mouth-to-butt coupled with arm actions resembles someone playing a brass instrument.

Using your breath

Gently blowing hot and cold air onto the anus can intensify the sensations and heighten nerve endings. Alternate licks and blows for incredible pleasure.

The more you focus on the anus, the more aroused and sensitive to touch your partner will become, so a touch here and a stroke there can really boost those tingly feelings. Here are some other parts of the body you can involve while performing analingus:

  • The inner thigh: the inside of the leg, from the anus to the knee can be very sensitive. Try gently stroking or tickling this area up and down in long motions.
  • The butt: give the butt cheeks a little squeeze, or if your partner prefers something harder and you're in a position to do so, try light rimming.
  • For women: try tickling or massaging the clitoris, fingering the vagina or stroking and pinching the nipples.

If you still want more from anal play, you can try adding some anal sex toys into the mix.

The Best Sex Toys for Rimming

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