"Which Lingerie is Best for My Body-Shy Girlfriend?"
"My girlfriend's really shy about her body. I love the way she looks, but is there any lingerie I can buy her to help her feel sexier?"
When we asked you to send us your sex questions, tons of you wanted to know how to help your partner feel more confident in their own skin. So we asked body-positive blogger and Instagram sensation,CurvyGirlThin (aka Charli) to give us her finest tips for lingerie to make anyone feel fab.
Feeling sexy is definitely linked to being empowered. If a woman doesn’t feel empowered, then she’s unlikely to feel confident and sexy in her own body.
For me, empowerment definitely starts at the base - and that is lingerie. However, my mood really affects what lingerie is going to make me feel my sexiest.
Read more below to see Charli's top lingerie tips and choices.
Some days, a lacy body hidden beneath a white shirt is the ultimate in sexy; it makes me feel a little bit risqué; a sly smile to myself that beneath my demure blouse, I will take your breath away. However, other days I want something more obvious, bolder, and more overt.
This is really the trick to feeling confident and sexy in your body and your lingerie: knowing what makes you feel empowered in a particular moment.
If your partner is shy about her body, then pushing her too far from her comfort zone could leave you both dry - literally! As much as a set of lingerie can make a woman feel sensual and emboldened, it can also make her shrink back inside of herself, making her want to hide in the corner.
Because of this, buying lingerie for a partner can be risky, and I would always urge creating an open and honest dialogue about likes and dislikes before surprising someone with a new lingerie set. I would advise spending some time together looking at some lingerie retailers or bloggers and see what items she is drawn to.
Conversations and trust in each other to express your desires goes a long way to inspire confidence in each other which, in turn, encourages self-empowerment; this is definitely part of a healthy relationship, both together and with yourselves.
Alternatively, choose something that is a small step from her usual lingerie. If she is very much a black plunge bra girl, then experiment by buying her a familiar style in a bolder colour such as red. Or add a small harness detail that gives a very subtle nod to the Fifty Shades craze.
Also, don't think that sexy has to mean scanty. Many women feel uncomfortable in items that are too revealing - they're told to hate their stomachs and their thighs, and pushing a woman to reveal and celebrate these very beautiful areas of their body too soon can lead to them feeling vulnerable.
Due to this, a babydoll or chemise becomes a great option for helping a woman to recognise her beauty and feel that little more sexual.
My final piece of advice is to be patient. Buying her lingerie won't immediately result in an astounding rise in confidence. Learning to love oneself is a long process, but with a little understanding and some gentle encouragement with simple compliments and terms of endearment (not to mention some carefully chosen lingerie), she will get there.
Sexy enough to add some va-va-voom, but comfy and cute enough not to be intimidating, too, these racy black panties are a wonderful all-rounder and a great introduction for sexy lingerie newbies.
Black lace is a lingerie classic, and this set hides lots of cheeky details that lets her reveal as much as she likes - and it's also available in plus size.
The figure-skimming scarlet satin of this babydoll covers tummies, hips, and bums, which is great if those are areas that she is shy about showing. Also available in plus size!
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