Beginner’s Guide to Bondage

Find out all about kink bondage in our guide to BDSM sex.

If you look at the bondage section of Lovehoney and go ‘What the!?’ - chillax, you're not alone...

For a beginner into kink bondage wondering how to do enjoy bondage, or asking what is bondage sex, this BDSM guide is an easy first step to wrap your head - and random other body parts - around the wonderful world of bondage.

Here’s a handy overview of bondage & discipline and sadomasochism, otherwise known as BDSM - or bondage, for short.

Video: 5 Reasons to try Bondage Tape

Perfect for kink bondage, bondage tape is one of our most popular types of restraint. Check out the video and let Jess Wilde give you 5 reasons why you should try it right now.

Why do people do kink bondage?

BDSM covers a huge range of activities that many people find erotic and sexually fulfilling. Some kinks are easier to understand than others, but here are some reasons:

  • experiment with power play (submission and dominance)
  • broaden sexual and sensual horizons
  • explore fetish and role play
  • increase sexual repertoire and techniques
  • revolutionise and optimise sexual happiness

Different types of bondage equipment

It’s not essential to have equipment to enjoy home BDSM or kink bondage, but it is an important part of the scene. The question of what is bondage sex is usually answered in part by one or more of the toys, devices, restraints or bits of gear below. Check them out and see what floats your boa

Ball Gags

60999_a34001_black_000

A ball gag should shush the submissive (sub) in any scene. It’s hard to speak with a mouthful of ball, as the actress said to the bishop. It straps around your head and has a rubber ball that sits inside the lips and teeth. The point of this bit of kink bondage is to instill a sense of submission.

Other types of gags include bits, hooks, rings and ratchets.

Learn more about ball gags here

Bedroom Bondage Kits

72394_a39465_black_000

Lovehoney has some great all-in-one solutions for bondage scenarios and home BDSM. For beginners wondering how to bondage, these bedroom bondage kits often come with a pair of ankle cuffs, a pair of wrist cuffs, a blindfold and some form of whip, flogger or paddle.

Some other bondage kits include ball gags, ticklers, collars and leads, ropes, bondage tape, spreader bars and more elaborate restraints.

Learn more about bondage kits here

Blindfolds

59981_a28736_red_000

A blindfold prevents you from using your peepers. What’s the point, you ask? By restricting vision, your other senses are sharpened. You become more sensitive to touch, taste, smell and sound. Yay!

As a bonus, you are likely to feel less self-conscious about experimenting a bit.

Learn more about blindfolds here

Bondage Hoods

71796_a39073_black_000

A bondage hood covers either half your head and face or sometimes all of it. You can get ones without mouth, nose or eye holes and some with completely open faces.

Bondage hoods are used to change your appearance and to deprive your senses. They are great for subs. Some hoods also have gags and restraints.

Learn more about bondage hoods here

Bondage Rope & Tape

17914_a15779_black_002

Bondage rope is a rope made for tying up your sweetheart. Bondage tape does the same job but it is self-adhesive, offering a skin-safe alternative to other tapes.

Do yourself a favour and buy bondage rope for your kinky companion. Save the embarrassment of heading to Bunnings and asking the bloke there for any old rope. Because non-sexy rope can be mean and nasty on the skin of your bonk buddy and not flexible enough to tie intricate knots.

Learn more about bondage rope and tape here

Chastity Belts & Devices

70012_a37791_silver_005

A chastity device fits over the genitalia of your or yours to prohibit sexual function or access.

You can wear these for visual effect, like in role play, but many chastity devices do permit long-term wear. They allow normal bodily functions but put a brake on sexy contact of any kind.

Learn more about chastity devices here

Clit Clamps

81920_a45460_gold_001

Clit clamps can be a decorative charm for your velvet bean. Or a device to produce that arousing mash-up of pain/pleasure.

Clit clamps you want to cause pain can cause a numbing sensation on the old clit. For some, that builds to a sexual tension that can get you toey. Want to enlarge your pretty pearl? Strap on a clit clamp and watch it swell.

Learn more about clit clamps here

Cock Straps

58623_a33070_black_000

Cock straps can be decorative or work as cock rings that give better stimulation to partners and a longer-lasting stiffy for the wearer.

Some cock straps are used to stretch or deform the appearance of the penis and scrotum, sometimes with mild pain, which is all part of the pleasure because we’re talking BDSM and kink bondage, peeps.

Learn more about cock straps here

Collars & Leads

57065_a32384_black_000

A collar and leash form a bondage device the Dom can use to control the sub wearing it. The collar, when worn alone, can be a symbol of ownership or can correct posture or just be worn as a fashion statement.

Some collars have lockable buckles to stop the sub from removing it. That boosts the feeling of helplessness or being dominated. Many collars are fitted with a frontal O-ring to allow leads, harnesses and bondage equipment to be connected. It’s a kind of Inspector Gadget resource for the kinky.

Learn more about collars and leashes here

ElectroSex Toys

41294_a26592_black_000

Electrosex toys are any form of toy that uses electricity as a stimulus for erotic sensations or pain-inflicting purposes. Electrosex toys have many attachments, including dildos, butt plugs and bullet vibrators, and electrified gloves, penis bands and nipple clamps. Wow, what a turn-on.

The sensation of electro toys is like a deeper-penetrating vibration. The levels can be adjusted, so start very gently and work your way up to 11.

Learn more about electrosex toys here

Feather Ticklers

83675_a46566_black_002

A feather tickler is made from feathers and used to tickle and tease your better half. They excite the nerves and create goosebumps, making you more sensitive to touch.

Feather ticklers are often used during foreplay, and why not? They enhance erotic sensation and anticipation. Ticklers are a low-risk, high-reward way to try home BDSM for beginners.

Learn more about feather ticklers here

Floggers

60056_a33625_black_001

A flogger has several surfaces that all hit the skin at roughly the same time. Since they spread the force of the hit over a larger surface area, the pain you feel is less intense than a single crack of a whip.

Floggers are brill for foreplay. You can tease your beau by running the dangly bits up and down their skin. That’ll get them frothy.

Learn more about floggers here

Handcuffs

59301_a80_red_000

A form of wrist restraint that bind the hands. They are often made from metal in the standard police style - which is half the point of BDSM role play, Mr Policeman.

Handcuffs are traditionally used to secure the hands behind the wearer's back but can also be used to secure the wrists around an object to prevent you from moving.

Learn more about handcuffs here

Masks

52420_a30885_silver_000

Masks are decorative facial accessories designed to transform your appearance or conceal your true identity. They are commonly worn at BDSM fetish and swingers parties and events to avoid being recognised later in pics on the interwebs.

Masks are also used in role-play to create a different identity. Who are you again?

Learn more about masks here

Medical Fetish

69399_a37530_silver_002

A category incorporating anything considered to be medical in nature, including gynaecological equipment, douches, urethral sounds, and electrostimulation kits. If you have a doctor or nurse bondage fantasy, this is one for you.

Learn more about medical fetish here

Nipple Clamps & Suckers

58046_a32756_silver_002

Does nipple play get your attention? Nip clamps clip onto, hang off of or suck onto a nipple. Why? To increase sensitivity or size, cause pain or provide pleasurable sensations. They are usually adjustable so you get the sensation you want.

Vibrating nipple clamps cum with vibrating bullets to up the ante. Once the clamps are removed, your nips may appear swollen and be ultra-sensitive. Which is often the point.

Learn more about nipple clamps and suckers here

Sex Machines

70015_a37794_black_000

Sex machines (usually electrical) are often a big item of home BDSM. They are designed to simulate thrusting movements so you can have penetrative sex without your beau being around. Fancy that?

These often have faster-thrusting settings than may be possible with a kinky companion (we’re not machines!). And they are popular for use in fantasies of ‘forced orgasm’ (often also involving bondage).

Learn more about sex machines here

Spanking Paddles

60060_a33628_red_004

A flat device, usually with a handle, that is used in the same way as a hand to spank. They come in varied textures to cause different sensations.

Most paddles are made from leather and they sound like ‘thwack’ when hit, which makes the whole experience more fun for everyone. Spankers are often used to accentuate touch by waking up the old nerve endings and getting an adrenaline rush.

Learn more about spanking paddles here

Whips

73820_a40397_red_000

Unlike a flogger, a whip has a singular surface you can use to whip your beloved to inflict pain they desire. Whips come in a variety of different shapes, sizes and styles.

Related items include riding crops and canes. All of these bits of kind bondage gear tend to provide a sharper sting than paddles and floggers.

Learn more about whips here

Wrist & Ankle Restraints

70526_a38181_black_000

A restraint you can wear either around the wrists or ankles, designed to restrict movement.

In this BDSM category, you’ll find a wide range of body restraints in all sorts of combinations - for example, neck-to-wrist, wrist-to-thigh, ankle-to-wrist, hogties, spreader bars...

Learn more about wrist and ankle restraints here

More Sexual Happiness Advice

You can never know enough about sex, right? Join us on our sexploration journey via the thriving Lovehoney forum, our weekly Sexual Happiness podcast and our blog.
Forum-Advice-card

Lovehoney Forum
Podast-Advice-card

Sexual Happiness Podcast
Blog-Advice-card

Lovehoney blog