Why a Sense of Humour is So Important in a Healthy Sex Life

by Violet

on Apr 1, 2020

Whoever designed sex had a great sense of humour. Think about it. All those dangly bits banging together. The ridiculous plight of removing skinny jeans. The noises, some voluntary, some not so voluntary. It's a laugh riot. And yet, very few of us feel that a laugh in the bedroom is... appropriate.

While we understand that no one wants to be greeted with uncontrollable chortles when they strip down to their undies, a sense of humour is actually great for your sex life. In this blog we show you why.

I Love Your Funny Face

Nothing's sexier than someone who makes you laugh. In fact, a Men's Health study found that out of 1000 women, 77% ranked a sense of humour as their number one must-have in a man.

But what makes humour so attractive? It could be because laughter releases the same happy chemicals as having an orgasm. But we think it's also the fact that making someone laugh shows a level of connection - one which says 'I get you'.

Humour is very subjective. While biting topical satire may really be your cup of tea, others might prefer a classic fart joke (although when are farts not topical?).

Whatever tickles your funny bone, having someone in bed who shares that point of view can release some of the pressure and expectation to always deliver an effortlessly mind-blowing sexual performance.

Keep Calm and Carry On

Let's be honest, sex is pretty funny - especially when things go wrong. Things get knocked over, beds collapse, and in-laws can walk in carrying a cake, singing "Happy birthday".

While sex may seem like a pretty serious affair in Hollywood, in reality there's plenty to go wrong.

The worst thing you can do if you accidentally butt heads or get your knickers stuck around your ankles, is awkwardly pretend it didn't happen.

Instead, relax, share a laugh and keep going. Good sex is about having a great connection, so let your guard down and go with the flow.

Laughter Builds Intimacy

Feeling comfortable enough to laugh and really enjoy yourself in the bedroom is a great signifier of intimacy. Sex is a very vulnerable act, one which takes a great deal of trust for some people.

When you let yourself go enough to laugh in the bedroom, it says loud and clear: 'I trust you'.

When we feel safe, relaxed, and connected to the person we're with, sex gets really interesting. We feel free to share our desires and speak up about what we want, allowing us to explore what really gets us off.

Put the Play Back in Foreplay

We spend so much of our time being serious. Most days we sit quietly at our desks, and try to squash our silly side away for the weekend. But, of all the places, the bedroom should be somewhere we can relax.

After all, isn't sex supposed to be fun?

Being open to light-hearted exploration and play is a wonderful pressure-free way to discover what you like.

While you may feel nervous about embarking on a full roleplay adventure, popping on a police officer's hat and commanding your lover to "spread 'em" is a lot less daunting. Sure, they may laugh at first, but now you've embarked on something new, in a relaxed environment.

Time and a Place

While adding a touch of humour to your sex life is a brilliant way to build intimacy and beat awkwardness, knowing when to be serious is key.

Just with all things on Planet Sex, there is a time and place for laughing in the bedroom. Because sex is so vulnerable, it's important you're never laughing AT your lover. It takes a lot of gumption to try something a little out of the box, so learn to read the room and take your partner's desires seriously.

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Written by Violet. Lovehoney Editorial Team
Violet joined Lovehoney's writing team in 2019 as our lingerie aficionado.
Violet is also an avid sex toy collector and co-host of The Sexual Happiness Podcast

Originally published on Apr 1, 2020. Updated on Jan 12, 2021