How to Last Longer in Bed

by Hannah Lovegrove

on Nov 15, 2022

Hoping for a marathon but find yourself always cumming first in the sprint category? You’re not alone, but you are in luck as we have the tips to help you last longer in bed.


Most people treat premature ejaculation as a sensitive topic, even though it’s reported as the most common sexual problem for penis owners in Australia. As many as 1 in 3 men will experience dissatisfaction relating to how long they last in the bedroom.

With any sexual health issues, we recommend discussing with your doctor to get advice best suited to you personally. But if you’re looking for ways to try and conquer the issue before you make an appointment, there are some changes you can make. Read on to find out how to last longer in bed.

Delay products

A topical treatment, delay sprays and creams are created with ingredients that have a desensitising effect when applied.

These products come in spray, gel and cream form and are designed to be applied to your penis before engaging in sexual activity. Some users find these products to have great success, but it’s important to apply correctly.

As these products contain desensitising ingredients that act as a local anaesthetic. They can unfortunately affect other skin hat comes in contact in a similar way. Ultimately, you’ll want to avoid any transfer to your partners genitals, as this will only reduce their sensitivity as well.

To avoid this, be sure to read the product instructions and follow them.

Application time frames can also impact their effectiveness. Some recommend washing the product off after absorption, as this will reduce the likelihood of the gel or spray desensitising your partner too, while others will advise how long before intercourse to apply for best results.

Desensitising Condoms


Using condoms in general may aid you to last longer in bed by reducing the sensations felt when engaging in intercourse, but the effect is minimal. However, there are also condoms specifically designed to help you go the distance.

The Four Seasons Naked Delay Condoms feature a thicker wall, made with ultra-durable latex. The thickness of these condoms can help to reduce the sensations felt by the wearer, taking you longer to reach climax.


O face IGS Model 10

Both penis and vulva owners have pelvic floor muscles that, when strengthened, can bring benefits into the bedroom. Kegel exercises are easy to practice and can help you increase control over ejaculation.

Kegel exercises involve flexing your pelvic floor muscles. These are the muscles you would tighten as if trying to stop urinating mid-stream. Once you’re comfortable that you’re activating the correct muscles, you can begin strengthening them via repetition each day.

Tense your pelvic floor muscles for three seconds, then rest for three. To begin with, try doing three sessions of ten reps throughout your day.

These exercises can be done anywhere, in any position, so there’s no excuse not to sneak them in while standing in line for coffee or doing the dishes. Build up your reps and the seconds you tense for as you strengthen these muscles over time.

With repetition, you’ll begin to find you have more control over when the fireworks go off in the bedroom, which is a huge factor when it comes to how to last longer in bed naturally.



Edging is a technique that can be applied during self-pleasure or when engaging in sexual activity with a partner. It garners its name from the act of bringing yourself to the very edge of climax then abruptly stopping all stimulation before you reach orgasm.

Try edging while masturbating first, so you become comfortable with your limits during sexual arousal. Once you feel in control, you’ll know when you need to stop stimulation to prevent unexpected or unwanted early ejaculation.

If you do want to try with this technique with a partner, let them know beforehand. They’re probably going to be confused if things are getting hot and heavy and you suddenly stop all contact.

If they’re game, try this technique on your partner too. Many who engage in the edging technique report that, when they finally do allow themselves to reach climax, the results are much more intense.

There are also toys that can help you maintain stronger erections for longer, like cock rings and penis pumps. These work by affecting blood flow to the penis to increase strength of erections. While results in lasting longer vary, sometimes the added confidence boost these products provide is all the help you need.

Reduce anxiety

The cause of premature ejaculation can often be psychological. Anxiety can show up in many areas of our lives, and the bedroom’s no different.

Sometimes one bad experience can set you into a cycle of worrying that all future sex will let the other partner down, which can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. The goal during intimacy is to be in the moment, not lost in anxious thoughts in your head.

But overcoming anxiety is easier said than done.

Talk to your partner

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If you have regular partner/s, the first step is discussing your concerns with them. Sometimes, just sharing a problem can take the weight off your shoulders.

Your partner should be open to listening and understanding what’s going on in your head.

If you wish to try desensitising products or the edging technique with a new or existing partner, let them know beforehand. This gives them the opportunity to help with the process, which can lead to more successful results.

When it comes to sexual satisfaction, teamwork makes the dream work.

Meditation and breath work


Recommended for all forms of anxiety, meditation and breath work are great options for calming our minds and remaining in the present moment. The best sex often comes with a relaxed mind and body, so it’s likely you’ll not only last longer but enjoy the entire experience more.

Shallow breathing can be caused by a variety of factors, with some of the most common being anxiety, stress and arousal.

If you suffer from performance anxiety and stress, and find yourself very aroused, your breath is likely to become increasingly rapid and shallow, which can lead to less control over ejaculation.

If you notice this happening in the bedroom, try deep breathing. You can begin trialling this outside the bedroom, focussing on inflating your entire diaphragm with breath instead of just your lungs.

���Square’ or ‘box breathing’ is a technique commonly recommended for anxiety sufferers that slows your breathing right down. Breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds and then breathe out for four seconds (emptying your lungs completely) and hold for four seconds again, then repeat!

The best part of mastering breathing exercises is once you’ve done them alone, you can employ them during sex without anyone ever knowing.



Cowgirl is one of these positions if your partner is a vulva owner, as it allows them to straddle you while you lie down. Instead of you having complete control over the depth and speed of your thrusting, the partner on top has all the control over the movements.

Often, cowgirl is a winner for vulva owners, as it provides more clitoral stimulation if they lean forward, or more G-spot stimulation.

They get to decide a tempo that works for them and you get to delay orgasm - it’s a win-win!

Another option is trying a seated position, with your partner on top. Once again you have less control and ability to thrust, while they determine the tempo and depth.

If you need ideas for new positions to try, try a sex position card deck, and if you know that there’s a position that pushes you over the edge every time, try other positions first and leave your favourite until the end.

Visit your doctor or a sex therapist


Like any form of anxiety, sexual performance anxiety sufferers can benefit greatly from speaking with a trained professional. As the world ditches its dated ‘taboo’ views of speaking about sex, it’s become easier than ever to access sex therapists and sexologists.

The mental aspect of premature ejaculation can be rooted from many things. For some it’s negative sexual experiences in their youth. For others it can be lack of self-confidence. Or perhaps you’re just wanting to understand yourself better in the bedroom.

Whatever your motivation, booking a session with a sex therapist will help you better understand what’s happening upstairs so you have more control over what happens downstairs.

Your therapist will be able to help you recognise any unhelpful thought patterns and give you advice more specific to your situation on how to last longer in the bedroom.

You are not alone

Whichever options you decide to try to increase your sexual stamina, it’s important to understand that lasting longer in bed is a common wish for many penis owners. You’re not alone, and often the process of addressing the issues linked to premature ejaculation will lead to a happier and healthier sex life for you in the long run.

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Hannah Lovegrove

Written by Hannah Lovegrove.

Originally published on Nov 15, 2022. Updated on Nov 16, 2022