How to Masturbate: A Beginner's Guide to Masturbation

by Lovehoney

on Nov 4, 2021

This beginner’s guide to masturbation explains everything you need to know about how to masturbate, how to masturbate for girls and how to masturbate for boys.

Because Lovehoney is all about sexual happiness, we’re unashamedly pro-masturbation. If you want to know how to masturbate, how often you should masturbate or how to make masturbation better, read on.

If you want to know how to masturbate for girls, or how to masturbate for guys, we’ve got you covered.

Did you know that not everyone masturbates? Who knew? A study by the University of Chicago found that only 61% of men and 38% of women have masturbated in the past year.

Believe it or not - we’re not convinced. Maybe these folks still believe some of the bizarre myths about masturbation. Like the five knuckle shuffle would cause insanity and even worse - hairy palms.

False. Masturbation is great for mental well-being and has surprising health benefits.

So, whether you've never masturbated before, or are simply looking for a few bits of advice to upgrade tickling your fancy, we'll give you the low down.

Video: 5 Ways to Masturbate

Even if you feel you know how to masturbate properly, there's more than one way to choke the chook, and this vid has a bunch of great suggestions. Exploring your body in different ways can really enhance your orgasms and uncover new sensations.

Is Masturbation Good for You?

Where do we begin? As Meg Ryan affirmed in the famous orgasm in the café scene of When Harry Met Sally, “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Rubbing one out has a host of wonderful benefits. Airing the orchid and cranking the shank have been proven to support mental health. This is due to the happy chemicals, like endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin, your brain releases when you cum like a freight train.

And menage-a-moi is a great sleep aid since more happy hormones, prolactin and serotonin, are released, boosting feelings of relaxation and happiness.

Masturbation is good your bod too. It is pain management, and knocking one out is known to ease the aches and pains caused by menstruation.

But it's not just vulva-owners who benefit - blokes who polish the rocket regularly can have better prostate health. One study showed that ejaculating 21 times a month could reduce your risk of prostate cancer by 33%. Just think - knowing how to masturbate has just save you a few trips to your GP, and all for free.

How Masturbation Enhances Your Relationship

Bondage couple flogger

Masturbating regularly is a top way to learn what you - and your partner - like in the love shack. If you’ve spent the time to explore your bod, you know what feels best for you. Since your bonk buddy can’t read your mind about what you like, you can guide their touch to get to the fireworks on time.

Need proof? Studies have shown that those who masturbate often are 10% more confident in bed. Get busy slipping a digit, peeps.

We all know confidence is sexy as hell in bed. Being able to sexually satisfy your partner is a fantastic bonding experience for a relationship. And it all starts with some manual override.

How to Masturbate Discreetly

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. Ever. (Maybe on the bus to Central is not a great idea… so, yeah, keep it private.)

But being discreet means you can really relax into it. There’s a ton of folk who like to masturbate in bed, and a bunch of others who prefer the shower or bath - all that warm water and steam… and the lock on the door comes in handy. Find a private space where you won’t be disturbed.

Warm Up, It’s Sexercise

Try warming up your erogenous zones before grabbing your nearest sex organ. Gently run your fingertips along your body, caressing your neck, inner thighs and nipples. Close your peepers and imagine your fave fantasy. These are great ways to get your motors running.

Only once you're feeling aroused, start to stroke or fondle your genitals. We really recommend lube here because it feels great and makes masturbation much easier.

If you’re rocking a donger, gently stroke up and down your shaft. When you're as stiff as a runner up at the AFL Grand Final, take your wang in your hand and move it up and down. Don't forget about your balls either - the nut sack has tons of pleasure potential. Gently cup them, or tug them carefully for added pleasure.

If you’re flying vulva-class, try stroking a couple of lubed-up fingers on your lady cake. Trace gently around your clit in gentle circles. Once you’re warmed up, try applying a little more pressure, or moving your hand slightly faster.

Another option for how to make masturbation better for women is to kneel and place a pillow in between your legs. Rub and grind yourself against the pillow, thrusting up and down to control the rhythm and speed to make yourself feel fine.

Some women like to multi-task - try inserting a finger or two inside your vajingo while rubbing your love bud at the same time. Blokes can do the same with their butt hole while they spank the monkey. Whatever feels good, folks.

How to Masturbate with Sex Toys

O face IGS Model 8

While our hands are often the perfect place to learn how to masturbate for girls and how to masturbate for boys, finger stimulation alone can sometimes use a helping hand.

This where sex toys come in. We sell a really wide range of sex toys at Lovehoney, and for beginners we recommend starting small and simple.

Bullets are cute little vibrators that are designed to stimulate your external hotspots. They're lightweight and discreet.

From there, you could graduate to a slimline rabbit vibrator. These ingenious inventions stimulate your clit at the same time as giving you lovely internal penetration. Check out our Slim Happy Rabbit.

Got a wang? Strokers are perfect for penises. Start with a simple one, like our Reversible Double Stroker with Intense Ticklers.

Once you’re across that, why not add a slimline butt plug into the fun? Check out our Basic Slimline Butt Plug, it's easy to insert and great for L-platers.

How to Make Masturbation Better with Top Sex Toys

Best Positions for Masturbation

There's no right or wrong way to masturbate. Whatever feels good. But if things really aren't working for you, try switching up your position. It's amazing what a slight shuffle of the hips can do for your pleasure.

Try adding a few of these popular positions to your self-love repertoire.

The Lotus Flower - How to Masturbate Female


Lay down on your back and get comfy. Open your legs wide and gently start to stroke and explore yourself with one hand.

Dab some lube on your digits and gently draw circles around your clitoris. You can add a vibe on your love button while your fingers explore your lady garden.

The Hand Solo - How to Masturbate Male

Hand Solo

Lie back, so your head and neck are supported. Try lying on a pile of pillows, making sure you're good and comfy

Open your legs wide and take hold of your manhood. Stroke your stiffy, ideally with some lube, building up speed as you go. Enjoy.

Goddess Grind - How to Masturbate for Women

Godess Grind

Flip over and lie on your belly, with your head to the side. Slide your hand underneath your hips, which can be usefully propped up on a cushion for comfort.

Do the Goddess Grind of your hips into your hand. The idea is to rub your clit against your palm in a way that sends you skywards.

You’ve got some spare fingers that could penetrate your field of dreams. Dildos and vibes can join the party, too. Play with it.

Sly Sideways - How to Masturbate by Adding Anal

Sly Sideways

Lie on your side, peeps of any gender. Reach around to stroke your butt and slide a finger into your clacker.

Using your free hand, stroke your penis or clitoris while massaging your backdoor.

To amp up this play, try adding a butt plug or a vibrator.

A little splash of anal-safe lube goes a long way.

Stimulating two erogenous zones at the same time is the perfect way to strengthen your orgasms.

How to Masturbate Your Way

Now you should have a clear idea about how to masturbate. How often should you masturbate? As often as you want to.

We know masturbation has mental and physical health benefits, as well as improving confidence, relieving pain and helping you feel more connected to your partner.

Best of it, it feels damn good. So, enjoy masturbating.


Written by Lovehoney. For collaborative posts between Lovehoney team members and guest authors
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Originally published on Nov 4, 2021. Updated on Nov 5, 2021