The Right Time to Have Sex

Are you a late-night lover? Or do you prefer a lazy morning roll between the sheets? Whatever your preferences, they’re totally valid. But thinking about when we most like to have sex got us wondering – what time of day do people tend to have sex most often? Do we prefer to have different types of sex at different times?

And with adult life being such a whirlwind, just how many of us have started scheduling sex ahead of time so we don’t miss out on any orgasms and continue to prioritise our pleasure?

We set out to find some answers, surveying over 1,000 sexually active adults about their bedroom habits. We also enlisted the help of Lovehoney ambassador and male sex coach, Cam Fraser, to find out if there’s an ideal time of day to have sex, and why putting sex in our diaries could give our intimate lives a helping hand.

Two out of five adults schedule sex

Sex is a pretty important part of most couples’ relationships. But when life gets busy it can sometimes take a backseat to other things.

Some people turn to scheduling as a solution, planning when they’re going to have sex in advance and putting them in their diaries. While for some it might seem weird to see “7pm: Have really hot sex” right below “6pm: Put the kids to bed” on a to-do list, for others this kind of planning works wonders for their sex lives and relationships.

Still, it seems most of us still think spontaneous sex is the best kind of sex, as 60% of people we surveyed said they don’t schedule sex. That leaves two out of five people who do plan ahead – as well as 38% who said they don’t currently but are open to giving it a go.

We also found that men are more likely to schedule sex than women, with nearly half (49%) of guys we surveyed saying they do plan when to have sex compared to only 38% of women.

As for age groups, adults aged 55+ are the least likely to put sex on their calendars with only a third saying they schedule it, while those aged 45 to 54 are the most likely to do so (43%).

The star signs most and least likely to schedule sex

Surprisingly, it turns out that Sagittarius is the star sign most likely to schedule their sex. Although Sagittarians are known for their spontaneous nature, nearly half (48%) of those we surveyed said they plan sex ahead of time. They’re followed closely by Aquarius and Taurus, with 46% of both saying they schedule time for sex.

Meanwhile, Geminis are the least likely to schedule sex (31%), followed by Virgo (36%) and Leo (36%).

The impact of scheduling sex

So, with so many people now adding sex to their calendars, are there any benefits or drawbacks we should be aware of? Cam weighed in to highlight a few…

“Scheduling sex can be great for people who struggle with spontaneous libido. If sex is scheduled, it can give them and their partner(s) something to build up to, to expect, and prepare for. Scheduling sex can also be great for couples who do not have a lot of room for spontaneity, such as parents or people who work long hours.

“Additionally, scheduling sex may lead to more sexual excitement because you’re able to leverage the sense of anticipation and begin foreplay long before you get to the time that sex is scheduled in your calendar. Ultimately, scheduling sex can demonstrate a commitment to your relationship, improve communication, and guarantee quality time with your partner.”

Although there are definite benefits, Cam shares that it might not be the best thing for some people’s sex lives, “For some couples, scheduling sex can feel like a chore and possibly not lead to a lot of excitement for them. Similarly, if you have anxiety around scheduling and keeping time, scheduling sex may add to this stress. Some couples may also focus too much on the “sex” aspect when it comes to scheduling sex. This can create unwanted pressure and expectations.”

However, if you’re still keen to get something in the diary for you and your partner(s), not all hope is lost. “A solution to this is to schedule “quality time” instead of specifically scheduling “sex.” Instead of feeling inflexible and like you have to have sex, this can allow for you and your partner(s) to be present together, talk to each other, and do whatever feels good in that moment - which may include having sex!” says Cam.

The most common time to have sex

Whether you stick to a schedule or prefer to be spontaneous, there’s probably some kind of pattern to when you like to have sex. To find out which times of day are most popular for getting it on, we asked people when they have sex most often.

The majority of us are getting frisky after dark, with nearly two-thirds (61%) of people across all genders and age groups saying they most often have sex late at night. Early evening is the next most popular choice (14%), followed by 10% of people who prefer an early morning romp between the sheets.

Noon is the least popular time of day for sex (2%), most likely because the majority of us will be busy with other things at this time of day – whether it be working from the office or heading out for lunch.

While it’s unanimous that most people prefer to wait until dark to spend some alone time with their partner(s), we found that Scorpios and Taureans are most likely to move away from the status quo. Almost one in 10 (8%) of those zodiacs say they’re partial to getting down in the morning.

Is there an ideal time of day to have sex?

Considering most of us favour a cheeky romp in the dead of night, it’s worth considering if there is actually an “ideal” time of day to have sex. Cam explained that this topic seems to have people somewhat divided…

“While there doesn’t seem to be a one-size-fits-all approach, there are a few different opinions about the ‘ideal’ time of the day to have sex. For example, some people suggest first thing in the morning, as men’s testosterone is the highest at this time. Other people suggest around 3 o’clock in the afternoon, as that is the time when men’s and women’s hormones are most in sync.

“Of course, both of these suggestions presuppose that at least a man is in the relationship. Really, the ‘ideal’ time of the day to have sex is when you and your partner(s) feel like it is. If you don’t like or can’t have morning sex, then this isn’t the ideal time for you. If you and your partner(s) enjoy morning sex and find it difficult to get in the mood later at night, then this isn’t the ideal time for you. Find your own ‘ideal’.”

The right time for different types of sex

It seems we prefer the cover of darkness no matter what we’re getting up to, as all types of sex occur most frequently late at night.

Early evening is again the next most popular time for most types of sex – except for masturbation, which more people prefer to do in the early morning (16%) than evening (10%).

Meanwhile, foot sex, toy sex, anal sex, virtual sex and BDSM are all more likely to occur in the late afternoon than early morning.

Cam shared that when it comes to introducing sex toys to the bedroom, scheduling the time in might actually be beneficial, regardless of the time of day you prefer to have sex! “Scheduling sex can certainly help you prepare for the use of different sex toys. Some people may feel anxious or intimidated about sex toys and a partner who spontaneously introduces a toy could make them feel overwhelmed or insulted. But if there is an upcoming time in the calendar where it is agreed upon that you’ll be experimenting with a new toy, such as anal toys or bondage, this can help both partners feel comfortable and prepared.”