Position of the Week: Shibari Spoon

Combining all the romance of spooning with a touch of kink, the Shibari Spoon shows that bondage can be just as loving and intimate as it is thrilling. This one's for BDSM explorers and enthusiasts alike.

Don't know shibari? This is your sign to learn more about the sensual Japanese art of rope tying and see how it can deepen your connection with your partner.

How?

Start with a basic double column tie to bind one partner’s wrists together. You’ll need a soft bondage rope for this, as it’s gentler on the skin.

If you know your knots, tie the left ankle to the opposite thigh. Then, finish by binding the left thigh to the left forearm. Now, the little spoon is ready lie on their right side and be wrapped in their lover's arms.

But, before you get all tied up, talk consent. Keep each other safe by communicating your expectations and boundaries before you play. And always check there’s a two-finger width between the rope and your lover’s body.

Why?

Shibari looks hot, whether you’re tying basic knots or getting super intricate. Plus, it engages both your mind and body, making it a mindful way to bond with your partner.

The giving partner gets to take control while carefully restraining their lover. Done with respect (and a healthy dose of giggles, probably) this can build trust and intimacy between you.

In Shibari Spoon, the binds will naturally keep the receiver’s left leg bent, which creates a little opening for the giving partner to penetrate from behind — or use their fingers to caress those sweet spots. Get slathered up with silky water-based lube to enhance the good sensations.

Kissing, licking, or whispering dirty things in their ear, it’s up to the giving partner to tease the little spoon however they wish.

Try

While getting in position, ask questions like “how does it feel knowing you can’t get free without my help?” or “are you enjoying being in control?” Hearing each other get excited throughout your play will feel even more sexy and intimate, helping to deepen your connection.

To up the stakes, introduce a mouth gag or blindfold to seduce and tease the little spoon. They’ll have to surrender to every intriguing sensation without distraction. Just remember to agree on a safe word first.

Make it even easier

Lovers with mobility aids should find it easy to get into position from seated. Just be sure to start in a comfortable position that you can hold for some time – it might take you a while to tie all those knots!

To keep things simple, use the same double column tie you used on the wrists to bind the ankles together, rather than binding from ankle to thigh etc. And start with short ropes. They’ll be less tangly and confusing than long ones, which makes them easier for beginners to handle.

Finally, it's always good idea to keep a pair of safety scissors nearby in case your knot game is too strong. Safety scissors make it easy to cut the ropes in a hurry, without risking nicks or scrapes.

Make it even better

Like any good sex position, the Shibari Spoon is even better with toys. Slip a bullet vibe between the restrained partner’s legs and see how long they can stand the stand the spine-tingling vibrations.

Or, if your little spoon has a penis, a vibrating cock ring will have the same effect. Enhance that power dynamic with a remote controlled cock ring, so the giver can decide how intense the sensations will get.

Important note: No matter what sort of bondage you’re doing, make sure you have a safe word. When that safe word is said, stop whatever you're doing, with no exceptions.

Not the position for you?

We're working to make sure that everyone is represented on our website, regardless of who you love, so we'll be using a variety of gender depictions in our Position of the Week posts. This will include straight, gay, lesbian, and gender neutral couples, but all positions will have details in the description of how to make them work for your own relationship dynamic.